


Cucumber Sandwiches

by Katherine



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherine/pseuds/Katherine
Summary: Bill the Lizard enjoyed his afternoons off when he visited the Gryphon and Mock Turtle. Today, their three-angled conversation first ranged over the usual pleasantries... and then they planned a party.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Assimbya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assimbya/gifts).



Bill the Lizard enjoyed his afternoons off when he visited the Gryphon and Mock Turtle. Today, their three-angled conversation first ranged over the usual pleasantries: the weather and fine crops to be expected from it, the peaceful place that was the seaside on a fine day, and the soft remembrances of their respective schooldays. Somehow from that last topic they turned to the marking of special events. Or sometimes, the Mock Turtle said rather dourly, the notable marking of far from notable events. The creation of an excuse, in other words, for some sort of party.

"There are always birthdays," Bill suggested. But a quick round of checking (the Gryphon, Bill noted, not disclosing the year of his) brought to light that none of their birthdays were particularly soon.

"Yours is the closest, Bill," the Gryphon said, "yet not before the weather will turn again." The Mock Turtle looked to the west and made some quiet but dramatic mutterings about storms to be expected next season.

"We might pretend it's sooner," Bill said carefully. Usually a truthful soul, he might not have thought of that if they hadn't been recalling schoolday silliness. The Gryphon raised one talon at this, and spoke decidedly. "We'll borrow an idea from the Mad Hatter and March Hare. They do have useful ones on alternate Tuesdays, you know."

"We needn't call it an unbirthday," the Mock Turtle chipped in.

"A scattered idea, like most of theirs," the Gryphon said, in what might or might not be an answer to the Mock Turtle. Bill thought the Mad Hatter and March Hare could well be described as scattered, although with the odd twinkling piece of poetry.

"I heard they made a song about unbirthdays," the Mock Turtle said, sounding a little put out.

"It comes of always wanting to have tea parties," the Gryphon said. "More and more reasons for them, and less reason in each."

Bill bobbed his head in agreement. He didn't much mind the when, as long as it was in good time for his cucumbers to have ripened. He considered that all parties (birthday, unbirthday, or other occasion) should always have a spread that included piles of cucumber sandwiches.

The Gryphon, in his organising fashion, had moved on in his thoughts to peopling the event. "I suppose you could invite them, if you like." The Mock Turtle made a very small unhappy noise. Bill shook his head. "I'd rather not," he said quietly. They were loud and untidy, and besides that he felt (as someone with a very smooth scalp) there to be something untrustworthy about such long ears as the Hare sported.

Possibly the Dormouse, however. He was bound to fall asleep, but one could hospitably set him up an armchair with some hay upon it.

*

"I'll tidy the place for you," the Gryphon volunteered as they discussed further arrangements. "My school days are long ago, yet I remember all we were taught in Washing." His dark gaze turned distant. "I had a cousin who swept for a princess."

Location decided, the Gryphon declared they must all three agree upon a menu. At this the Mock Turtle sighed and moved his feet, the hooves sounding more of a clopping than a shuffling.

With a pointed sigh of his own, the Gryphon said, "Very well, I suppose we can do without soup." He added in an aside to Bill, whispered and softened further by the feathers of the wing he held out for privacy, "He does worry so whenever he sees a tureen."

Sandwiches, undoubtedly. Thinking of what besides sandwiches should be laid out available for eating at a party, Bill said, "And some cakes." The Mock Turtle volunteered to make those.

*

All in all, Bill thought the arrangements quite satisfactory. He enjoyed mulling over the plans in the quiet of his own garden. He checked his flower beds were still in the correct state: nice and soft, as one couldn't go letting the earth get so hard that the flowers got to talking and being discontented. Then he spent a meditative hour polishing the glass of his cucumber frames.

He would invite a few of the other creatures who had also had the experience of serving on the King's jury. Probably best, then, to stick with the Mock Turtle's cakes rather than serving any tarts whatsoever. He would not want to stir any bad memories.

*

Two weeks later, the morning of the party, Bill talked to himself cheerily under his breath as he selected the very best, ripest cucumbers. There was a crisp, vegetable scent as he detached each from the vine.

He sliced them the cucumbers thinly, set them ready, then turned to the bread. The bread was fresh from the Duchess's own kitchen, sent to him in the arms of a helpful (if loud) young pig. Good, soft loaves, and if some pepper had got into the dough, that taste wouldn't do cucumber sandwiches any harm.

Each small slice got a careful smoothing of best butter.

*

As he looked over the spread, Bill saw out of the corner of one eye that the Gryphon was fairly fluffed up in pride. That was well enough; the Gryphon had done much of the deciding and organising after all. Everything was laid out ready. The Mock Turtle's cakes were prettily done, each a small dome with patterning like his own shell in coloured icing upon the top. There was punch as well as tea, insistence having been made that this was not solely a tea party.

Not too many guests, just the right number for a fairly quiet party, and a good mixture of those who were already friends and were not well acquainted before. (They'd not invited the Dormouse's cousin, as those two did not get along terribly well, and would have felt obliged to share one armchair.) The Squirrel chattered to the Mole, who was peering at the cakes, while the Duck was sharing a plate of cucumber sandwiches with the Mock Turtle. The Storkling was very shy, but the Gryphon took her quite literally under his wing.

*

Bill turned from his conversation with the Frog Footman when there was a sudden squeak and a tremendous splash.

"Not to worry," the Mock Turtle said. "It's only the Dormouse having fallen into the punch-bowl."

"We'll soon dry him off," Bill said, anxious that his party should remain a success. After liberal application of tea-towels the Dormouse was dry and apparently none the worse for the dunking. The two guinea pigs barely had time to pour some hot tea into his mouth before he was falling asleep in the armchair provided for him. When he started snoring, one of the guinea pigs fussily rearranged the hay on one side.

Except for that remedied accident, all was going well. Bill smiled as he watched his guests. The Dormouse was comfortably asleep, and he could see the rest enjoying their cakes, conversation, and cucumber sandwiches.

**Author's Note:**

> The unbirthday idea of the Mad Hatter and March Hare is borrowed from Disney's film. The Gryphon's cousin who swept for a princess is the griffin in E. Nesbit's story "The Island of the Nine Whirlpools". Finally, the named creatures in the jury are from The Nursery Alice. (Since a Dormouse is one of those spilling from the jury box in [Tenniel's illustration](https://www.bl.uk/britishlibrary/~/media/bl/global/english-online/collection-item-images/c/a/r/carroll%20lewis%20nursery%20c06544%2003.jpg), yet the Dormouse walked in the with March Hare and sat next to Alice, I've decided it is a cousin in the jury.)


End file.
